[ She doesn't have the energy to deal with his...unique views on dying, so she just shoots him another glowering look. Obviously she can't agree with a word of that...her own vows aside, calling a young girls death "satisfying" is a bridge too far. If Kanna felt that way...maybe Sara just had to wait around till the tree spat Kanna out and see if the girl still admired her.
Sara assumes Komeada is only playing along because she's framed this as a game...they don't have to take it seriously when its just play of guessing motivations. Looking into his eyes, she still can't tell if he's concerned or disdainful. Komeada has always been hard to read, it scared Sara, but he'd been predictable enough, kind enough at times that Sara could play along and ignore what she didn't want to. He might be concerned, he patted her shoulder, but how could she know. Knowing felt very important right now.
So...the way he talks about Shin shocks her. It's blunt, and a little cruel, but he's really taking this seriously. Even if she doesn't know how he feels, he's giving this a lot of thought, trying to understand Shin which feels like an chore half the time. She perks her head up, staring harder. Had Shin really felt that way, wanting to live like that? ]
I guess so... [ It's distant, her focus shifting before she sets her lips and frowns down at the desk. ] But I'm not fragile like that.
'Isn't it enough that I'm sorry.' [ The quote slips out without any of last nights emotion. ] But no, it wasn't. He had to hurt me. He had to say why he thought I died. And when he did...when he basically said it was my fault I was dead...! After everything I did, and how much I tried! Just...I thought we were friends. I know he'd be angry, but I thought I could change something this time.
...I just did it on instinct after that. Hah... [ She inclines her head to the pile of coat. ] His scarfs still in there. Killing him with Sou Hiyori's old things. It would have been awful.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2021-12-30 07:35 am (UTC)[ She doesn't have the energy to deal with his...unique views on dying, so she just shoots him another glowering look. Obviously she can't agree with a word of that...her own vows aside, calling a young girls death "satisfying" is a bridge too far. If Kanna felt that way...maybe Sara just had to wait around till the tree spat Kanna out and see if the girl still admired her.
Sara assumes Komeada is only playing along because she's framed this as a game...they don't have to take it seriously when its just play of guessing motivations. Looking into his eyes, she still can't tell if he's concerned or disdainful. Komeada has always been hard to read, it scared Sara, but he'd been predictable enough, kind enough at times that Sara could play along and ignore what she didn't want to. He might be concerned, he patted her shoulder, but how could she know. Knowing felt very important right now.
So...the way he talks about Shin shocks her. It's blunt, and a little cruel, but he's really taking this seriously. Even if she doesn't know how he feels, he's giving this a lot of thought, trying to understand Shin which feels like an chore half the time. She perks her head up, staring harder. Had Shin really felt that way, wanting to live like that? ]
I guess so... [ It's distant, her focus shifting before she sets her lips and frowns down at the desk. ] But I'm not fragile like that.
'Isn't it enough that I'm sorry.' [ The quote slips out without any of last nights emotion. ] But no, it wasn't. He had to hurt me. He had to say why he thought I died. And when he did...when he basically said it was my fault I was dead...! After everything I did, and how much I tried! Just...I thought we were friends. I know he'd be angry, but I thought I could change something this time.
...I just did it on instinct after that. Hah... [ She inclines her head to the pile of coat. ] His scarfs still in there. Killing him with Sou Hiyori's old things. It would have been awful.